What's wrong with me.

I cant stop complaint. Hardly keep my temper.cant control my self. I cant do it by myself.
I have no motivation. No interest.It happened on one ordinary day,when i cant think further anymore. start keep away my friends,because they're not pay me enough attention. What a childish thought i have.Ignoring who ignore me.run far away just to see who come after me.though I'm not run far away.just stay the same place.
Nowadays living by technology,internet takes away our direct communication.we're saying hello to each other via social media,not really care about the reply,a platitude.we forget how to say it directly.too much taken by the stream.that's how i lose them.the reason to keep living my life,savior for each time suicide thoughts are coming.yes,i lose them.losing all reason to stay live and to die.i have no reason to suicide,I'm an empty shell.

i got shelter,i have my bachelor degree with good academic report.i have family,if family could define as people who gives you shelter,pay your school tuition,giving food, pocket money,wash your clothes,without asking for retribution in money.yes,i have family in that term.but not family to my soul.that's why i rarely feel connection with them.they're not my no.1 motives.

i have no dream.never take it seriously.dream is too scary to think about.And if i have dream, I'm just to scare to dream it.cant stand if i cant reach it.

you see how my life is such a waste.

that's what happened when you lose the connection with your own kind.try to live by yourself.
have no mission and vision.in the end you have no faith.and dead in your useless life.

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